Monday, October 15, 2012

My First Couples Counseling Session

This past weekend my wife and I attended our first marriage counseling session and I can summarize with this: I wish we had done this years ago. See, I have always philosophically been of the opinion that counseling is similar to working out and eating a balanced diet. It takes intentional and daily action over a period of time to develop and maintain a healthy body. In the same manner I believed that couples counseling is an intentional action to strengthen a marriage, make a good one great and help in staying connected to one another. After our first session I no longer believe this but rather accept it as fact.

Even through one session I feel stronger and more confident that our marriage is heading in the right direction. It was wonderful for my wife and I to open up and share our fears and desires for the coming years in a controlled setting. Our therapist was phenomenal in steering our conversation and keeping us on track and exploring specific feelings, thoughts and issues without going on wild tangents that I have been known to do when trying to talk about these things with my wife on my own. I’ve typically been reserved to only acknowledge mutual funds as sound investments but marriage counseling is without question an investment in a healthy and happy marriage.

Thankfully through my wife’s insurance our only bill is a $20 co-pay for each visit and we can save for this expense through our tax deductible health savings account. But aside from the X’s and O’s I think that this is a great step into the direction of where we want our marriage to go while healing our hurts and hang-ups from the past. For me ultimately I want our marriage to have a deep and strong connection as we began the family planning process of having our first child and I think we’ve found someone who will be a great addition to our team (our therapist) to help us get there.

Sure, we could have attended seminars and read self-help books but after being “Ramsey” for so many years a light bulb went off some time ago. Great team members in our lives can include accountants, lawyers, real estate agents and insurance agents. For each of these we rigorously screen to find ones that have the heart of a teacher to help us excel in areas that we cannot gain overnight competence on our own. Why not apply this same principle in strengthening our marriage?

So I give my thumbs up to you regarding marriage counseling. Now that my wife and I are debt free, have a fully funded emergency fund of 3-6 months worth of expenses saved for, are regularly contributing to retirement and for our future kids’ college, now we can prioritize what is important in our lives. This includes travelling the world together, saving to buy a home and nurturing and strengthening our relationship so that we are always connected as we go through life.


  1. Marriage is a lifetime “business deal” which is not about money, but of your happiness. What’s a few dollars-worth of marriage counseling session if lifetime happiness is on the line? Congratulations on making the best investment of your life.

    Tyler Goodwin

  2. How are you doing Rob? It is good to know that you and your wife found your marriage/couple’s counseling very helpful and effective. It is also great that you were open to the idea of going to counseling sessions every now and then to help you have a healthy married life and didn’t think of it as the common implication that going to counseling is only for problematic people.

    Russell Dill